Well, what can I say. My best line is the one about the fact that I had ten years without TV. But that's not really good enough. There are very few excuses for watching trainwreck tele like this. But that´s the point. That´s what´s so fantastic about it! The whole 'where do they get these people from' factor, then watching the whole Lord of the Flies thing play out.
It was rough last night, flicking between the Katie & Peter reality show, watching their relationship disintegrate before my eyes with all the fevor of a junkie sorting out their next fix; and the inaugural 2009 Big Brother show. At least there were non simultaneous ad breaks, but every time I thought it can´t get any better than this with the house line-up, they´d roll out another spectacularly unique-stereotype-trainwreck-freak contestant. It was remote control dilemna hell.
I am going to do my utmost to stay away from the live broadcasts, but since my CNN has disappeared & I now have two channels of Bloomberg...and as there´s only so much BBC or Sky News one can take...E4 just might have to become my default channel. Ouch. But hey, it's making up for not going to university and studying anthropology...kind of...
Aside from the spectacularly egocentric pretty boys and girls, whose sense of selfworth is something we could all do with a little dose of; my favourite so far is the Iranian socialite for his remarkably frank answer to the question regarding his biggest regret. His answer...that he wasn´t born with a bigger penis. Bless.
I think this is a strategy. Create an element of mystery, wonder...I mean what is an Iranian's view of adequacy? 6inches? 8inches? What´s small? 4? 6? 8? TEN?? I want to know. I don´t fancy the guy for a minute, but I´m completely fascinated as to why he would admit to having this regret on national television. Hence, for the sake of my anthropology studies, I must see this guy's penis. At all costs! I would like to expose his scam to save hundreds of over-curious women from falling for this clever strategy the world over. It's brilliant. Paint oneself as a victim, immediately eliminating any other barriers based on your sincerity factor with a bit of the pity card thrown in for good measure. Raise the curiosity bar. Bingo! Another notch on the belt.
Genius. And that´s why everybody should watch Big Brother, not for anthropological reasons, but to learn sexual predator strategies or any of the other myriad of survival tips that are bound to manifest over the next few weeks.
Bring it on Big Brother!
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